Unexpected Encounters

It was in May this year that I felt prompted to order a book that was mentioned on a flyer that I had already for over a year in a research file: “Letters from Jerusalem 1947-1948”.
However, the lady, Zipporah Porath, wrote back that as I lived in Jerusalem, I could get the book through someone living not too far from us. Also, she wanted to know why I was interested in MACHAL.

An intensive email correspondence began, and I it just ‘clicked’ between Zippy and me, who is more than 30 years my senior. One thing led to another and I ended up creating brochures from two of the Jerusalem Letters, translating them into Dutch, and finding myself revived in returning to ‘active’ life.

You’ll find more about this special lady on my Website – I’ve created a special Zippy’s page, because the story of this eye-witness to Israel’s birth, must never be forgotten!

On the FOR THE LOVE OF HISTORY blog you’ll find two articles about MACHAL, which I wrote for Front Page Jerusalem Radio.

You can also listen to it: (a very revised version of what I wrote)
log into: http://www.frontpagejerusalem.com/site/index.php
Go to FPJ archives: this day in Israel’s history – machalnix

Speaking about Serendipities

Last year I did research for a radio article about Israel’s struggle for Independence, and stumbled upon “Machal” – overseas volunteers who fought in Israel’s War of Independence.

Reading about those wonderful people whose WWII experience was such an important asset in all areas of Israel’s survival, something ‘clicked’ inside of me. I longed to know more about those people. I wanted to write a novel about them.

But in order to give the characters enough back story, I had to go back to 1938, and that’s where the series starts. The Machal part will probably only introduced in part three ~ a long way to go yet.

You can read the text of the radio article about Machal on the “For the Love of History” blog. Even though the Machal novel is still a long way ahead of me, I'm constantly on the look-out for interesting information, that is added to the ever growing Machal file.
Lately, the Jerusalem Post published several articles from Zipporah Porath, excerpts from her book. Since last year, I kept a printout of the flyer on file, thinking that I would order the book when the time came to dig deeper into research.
But this week I felt I should order Zipporah Porath’s book “Letters from Jerusalem” now.
Thus, I send her an e-mail, and a wonderful correspondence began. She linked me up with a friend who happened to live very close to us, from whom I obtained the book.

Many ideas to help Zipporah find an audience to share her first-hand experiences have sprung up, and I’m excited to with the prospect of so many possibilities. More info about her book will be posted on my website, on the book review page.

It’s so amazing how God leads!

An Encouraging Rejection

After I sent out the Dutch manuscript to several Dutch publishers, a few of them responded rather quickly. One wrote they didn’t have fiction in their fund, another they couldn’t use the story, and the last one was another rejection, albeit an encouraging one.
This is what they wrote:
"Several of our editors have reviewed your MS and all agree that your MS is of good quality. We enjoyed reading it and are sure there is a market for it. However, we had to reject your MS because we don't carry this genre in our fund."

They further wrote they hoped another publisher would accept the MS, and even gave me another Publisher's name they knew carried my genre in their funding. (That one already wrote me they couldn't use it.) Now I'm waiting for the last two (big Dutch publishers) to respond. On the English front: This month I expect the result for the Rose and Crown (Sunpenny) Novel competition. I sent them 2 manuscripts.

I shared the news with Mary Rosenblum, Web editor of LongRidge’s e-newsletter, and she commented as follows:

"Ah, aren’t those near misses frustrating, Petra? But it means you’re close. And she is also working on other projects. Petra, you are a busy writer! Way to go, girl!"

The boy who lived up to his name

Since Na’il’s death, three months ago, my life has changed in so many ways.

Mourning takes time, that’s what I’ve experienced. I’m easily overwhelmed by seemingly small things, and thought that writing about the 12 years that Na’il lived with us, would be a matter of a few weeks. But there were days I just couldn’t handle the overwhelming emotions and had to leave the manuscript for what it was. There was no deadline, and nobody told me to hurry up and finish it. I was the tyrant who wanted to have this project finished, before continuing with the novel that had been on hold since February.

Reading through old newsletters in order to remember the highlights, was tiresome and exhilarating at the same time. Because I now saw the overall picture, I realized God’s grace and strength during the often difficult and challenging years, in which one crisis seemed to follow on the heels of another. But we didn’t have a choice, thus we grit our teeth, and went on.

The raw version of the book about Na’il’s life is posted chapter by chapter on the website, and I’m now proofreading and editing the printout.

When I’m satisfied with the end product, we’re going to print it ourselves and those interested can order it via mail. At the moment I don’t know how many pages the book will be. In order to keep the cost as low as possible, the book will be printed in black and white, but include two pages with coloured photos.

Slowly, hesitantly, I’m inching my way back to continue with my stalled novel.

Taking the Plunge

I sure did last week! Having two book manuscripts ready, (in English) I figured I wouldn't loose anything by entering a writing competition. Not only could the winners earn a monetary prize, but their novel would be published as well. The Biblical/historical novels fit their category, and so I sent them off. At least now they will be read by professional people and what's more, I won't have to wait for months on end to get the results: these will be posted already in May!

The Dutch translation of FIRST FRUITS IN JERUSALEM was also ready to be sent out, so there I took another step in faith, and sent them to several Dutch publishers as well. The 'waiting game' is always the hardest part, but like the professionals taught me - I just have to continue writing as always.

Depending on what's happening in my life (I'm still mourning our precious son) I've noticed that gradually things are returning a bit to 'normal', and I find myself able to concentrate better.

I'm networking with more people worldwide, (good for exposure) and see what doors the Lord will open up next. For now my greatest priority is the basic version of a book about Na'il's life on paper, which then will be translated into Dutch. Each finished chapter I post as an PDF file on the website, under Na'il's page. It pains me having to put my new novel on hold, but I can't work on too many projects at the same time, that drives me crazy. Even though people asked about a sequel to FIRST FRUITS, I feel the novel about WWII that's on my heart is important, especially with so much Holocaust denial sprouting up everywhere!
Step by step, day by day, we'll see how it goes.

Change of Course

I loved it - writing history pieces for radio, which I've been able to do now for over a year. As a history freak I like to learn about new places, background information about people and how things were in the 'good old times'. Very often I have to admit that I'm glad not having to live in those times, because they weren't good at all.

Each generation has its own challenges, and nowadays we're having to deal with too many major things at once. That part of the past - the slow pace, the 'simple life', having time for each and everyone, that is something I can long for.

But not too long, for back in the old days computers were unheard of, and I like my 'help-mate'. Especially when you have to research a subject - what is easier nowadays to Google your way around the world, instead of heading out for the nearest library.

Changes in the radio program were imminent, and they asked me to start writing general informational pieces about Israel instead. Speaking of change! But I decided to see it as another learning opportunity to hone my writing skills. It also broadens my horizons, this time into the present. Now I'm scanning the newspaper each day in search for interesting subjects about Israel to share with the world!

Found a great website with POSITIVE news about Israel too: http://www.israel21c.org/

So, that's my latest writing avenue, together with working on the book about Na'il's life and my novel, which I hope to revive from hibernation soon!

Delivering the Goods

In a bold mood I sent a history column proposal to an editor, together with 4 sample pieces and was stunned when he immediately responded. Yes, he was interested in a piece about the medieval carnival practices in Italy.

But… then he turned the tables on me by requesting a broader scope on the subject. And if I please could present him with a woodcut or pictures for the 1400 word article, possibly a 2 page feature, in the international magazine. There was no payment, only a by-line, but hey, this was a great opportunity! I was thrilled, but faced a terrible dead-line: I had only 1 day!

Frenzied research gave me the additional information and I managed to send the article in time. Got a “Thank you, I got it,” and that was all.

The article I sweat on was never published, and my ‘pay’ consisted of a nasty migraine the day after. This experience taught me that I should be ready to deliver the goods and ask myself beforehand if I would be ready (and willing to spend my precious time) to go the ‘extra mile’ if the editors should ask me.

So much for ‘boldness’ towards editors!
Writing the article was good exercise and I also learned a lot of things I dind’t know about that time period. But I could have done the same in a different way, without the anxiety/stress related migraine, by which I lost another writing day.

Looking back, I knew that this ‘urgent’ opportunity (at least, that’s how I saw it) had pushed away the ‘important’ ones that needed to be tackled too.
My priorities had been all wrong, and what might have worked for someone else, for me had been a disaster – I can’t handle too many jobs at once, that’s too stressful.

Kristi Holl writes in her book “First Aid for Writers” that different personalities need different working styles. She advises us to slow down and get more done, get ourselves out of the time pressure trap and invent our own rules, based on what we feel works for us, not what works for others. We should find and create our own natural writing rhythm that works for us!
Great advice to follow!

Got what I wished for

The year 2009 began with many surprises, and seemingly God wanted me to write more about our ‘children’s ministry’, as several doors opened ~ an anthology was interested in our story, a new e-zine approached me, and I was a bit frustrated that all those good things, forced me to put my new novel on hold. I was stuck at chapter 5.

Grumbling about my lack of time, and longing for more writing time, I finally had made peace with my ‘lot’, and accept the fact that God had called me to be a foster mum of special needs children first, and then a writer.

And then February 4 arrived and our world came to a complete standstill when our precious 14 year old foster son Na’il died very suddenly.
I’ve created a special page on my website in his memory and also a blog called “Celebrating Life”.

I had my wish – more time to write, but at a great loss.
My novel is still on hold, and I’ve decided to use this time of mourning to channel my grief through the stories, articles and devotions I’m planning to write.
My prayer is that it may be a comfort, encouragement and blessing for others to read. In writing about our special boy, I continue to share the blessing that he was to us and those who met him.

Getting on with Life

It’s exactly a week ago now that we had to say goodbye to Na’il and yesterday was the last day of the so-called ‘shiva’, the seven days of mourning.
Here we were: a Christian couple, sitting a (Jewish) shiva, for a Muslim boy ~ that’s our family in a nutshell.
What a blessing this shiva was for us: the outpouring of love, comfort and encouragement from so many friends, neighbors and acquaintances was overwhelming, and it really helped us to process our grief. We experienced the wisdom of this Jewish ritual, which we also read about in the book of Job.

Kristi Holl, in “Writer’s First Aid” mentions how important writing is for our health. I feel privileged to be able to express my feelings through the written word, and decided to use the website as a platform to write about our special boy, and file the stories in a Blog called: celebrating a life.

Kristi writes at the end of the chapter called “Beauty for Ashes”,
“But something extraordinary happens to us when sharing our personal hurts also helps heal someone else’s pain.”
That is my prayer too.

Links: Blog Na’il: http://nailtheacquirer.blogspot.com
Website: http://christinaboerma.com/christinaboerma

Grieving a Loss, Celebrating a Life

Our 14 year old foster son Na’il had been suffering from the flu, and when I visited the paediatrician that Tuesday afternoon, February 3, 2009, at 3.30 p.m. she checked him and didn’t see anything suspicious, except for the usual flu symptoms of a high fever.
Around 9.30 p.m. I noticed his breathing became laboured, and his belly was huge and felt like a stone. Something was wrong.

During the drive to the hospital he sat up in his stroller and I think he realized we were going to his favourite place, but he was too busy trying to breathe. After dropping us off at the hospital Wim returned home, because we couldn’t leave Nadia alone.

At the First Aid of the Hadassah hospital in Ein Kerem we soon were directed to an intensive care corner were his health quickly deteriorated. I entered a living nightmare.
While trying to insert a tube into his stomach, Na’il stopped breathing. The anaesthesiologist intubated him and put him on a respirator, while several nurses and 2 doctors tried to stabilize him. Many sick children had to be admitted, and they had to ask for additional staff from the adult department to help out on the children’s First Aid department.

Nobody knew for sure what was causing this deterioration except that his belly was full of air. Normally, parents are not allowed to stay near when medical staff works on the child, but because they knew I was a nurse, I was able to stay with him and be ‘part of the team’.
In order to have a C.T. made, they first had to stabilize his blood pressure, which was almost impossible to measure. I saw the colour of his legs and in my heart knew we were fighting a lost battle.

The C.T. showed that all the major organs were surrounded by air, which also closed off the blood circulation to his kidneys and legs. Still, nobody knew what caused the air in his abdomen, for there were no signs of a perforation.

Na’il’s biological father, Chassan, arrived at the same time as the paediatric surgeon, who drove especially to the hospital in the middle of the night. One look at the little boy and the surgeon sadly shook his head. He told us Na’il was going to die, but there might be a chance of 1% that an operation could bring relief. However, he warned us Na’il might die during the operation.
Chassan wanted to take that 1% chance of a miracle, but I knew in my heart it was already too late for our Na’il.

Wednesday morning at 4 a.m. he went into Theatre, while Chassan and I anxiously waited in the empty waiting room near the Operating rooms for the world to wake up.
6 a.m. An exhausted surgeon told us that he had not been able to do anything to help Na’il. The necrosis of his small intestine, probably caused by a blood-clot, had caused the air in his belly. For an hour the surgeon had tried to close the wound, without success – the swollen mass could not be put back into the belly. Na’il had survived the operation, but we had to wait and see if he would be stable enough to be transferred to the ICCU of the children’s ward.
The hospital woke up, the morning shifts began to arrive, and we waited for news about our precious Na’il.

Wim arrived at 8 a.m. with the news that Na’il already had been transferred to the children’s ward. With the changing of the shifts they had forgotten us in the waiting room.
Paediatric surgery on the 4th floor of the children’s wing always had been Na’il’s most favourite place. He had been there during several operations, and now he was back, without realizing it.
Chassan, Wim and I were ushered into a room, where two doctors, a social worker, the head nurse and two other staff patiently permitted us to ask questions, listen to our stories, and prepared us for having to say good-bye to a dying boy.

Hooked up to even more wires, tubes and drains, Na’il’s face had already the colour of death. His blood pressure was almost gone, his pulse very low. Two of Chassan’s brothers cried at Na’il’s bedside, while I sat next to him, stroking his face, his short cropped hair, kissing his already cold forehead, his closed eyes, his beautiful formed ear that never heard, trying to imprint all his beloved features before it was no longer possible.

9.30 a.m. The doctor and a nurse approached the monitor near the bed and said: “Time of death: 9.30”, and turned off the ventilator. Due to that machine we even had not realised he had been gone from us.
Our beloved Na’il’s soul had gone to heaven, welcomed in the waiting arms of our Heavenly Father. Now he was free from his broken body, which he had left behind in the bed. We tried to picture him running and laughing and talking! And then looked at the white, still figure in the bed and cried. It was such a privilege for me to be able to help the nurse wash and clean our little boy, one last time. And then, after one last kiss, the body bag was closed, and I was never able to kiss and hug or look after our 17 kilo, precious little boy any more.
He had died in his most favourite ward!

Chassan had to make all the funeral arrangements, which was quite a hassle. In Israel, both Jews and Muslims bury their dead within 24 hours. Chassan had to get a special permit from the Ministry of Health to take the body to the Mosque on the Temple Mount. Women are not allowed during Muslim funerals, and because Chassan couldn’t say what time it would be, and Wim would never be able to find the place in the Old City of Jerusalem, we decided to let it be.

12.00 noon we arrived home exhausted, with a stroller, bags, and no child.
Fahima already knew and planned to come home as soon as possible, Nadia we had to tell when she arrived home from work. The social worker from the Fostering Agency arrived and gave us comfort and practical help, and e-mails from all over the world began to pour in, in response to Wim’s news and updates. Our neighbour doctor left his medical practice for an hour to comfort us in our grief.

Even though we’re not Jewish, we decided to have a 7 day mourning period, the so-called “Shiva”, which starts after the funeral.
At 4 p.m. Chassan called us that Na’il was buried in the family grave behind the Temple Mount, opposite the Mount of Olives. It’s in an area near the Golden Gate, where one day, Messiah will enter!

Today, Shabbat, is the 4th day of the Shiva. Many people already have come to visit us, to share our grief. We expect many more visitors in the days ahead. It’s such a blessing and comfort to know how much our little boy was loved by those who knew and worked with him. And what a blessing and example his life was for so many people!

For now, we are still struggling as we try to deal with the sudden and unexpected loss. The precious memories and the love of so many sustain us, also the knowledge he’s in the best place ~ heaven!

The picture at the top was taken exactly one week ago, last Shabbat. Na’il loved the print-out and had been tapping enthusiastically with his big toe on my face. (He couldn’t use his arms, due to his contractures). The glorious smile that lit up his face was such a joy to behold. I will treasure that memory forever!

Too many good things, too little time!

It was a joyous birthday present: Cross and Quill, the hard-copy Newsletter from the Christian Writers Fellowship International, e-mailed me that they wanted to use both (!) articles I sent them in November 2008. One article, “For the Love of History” is about writing Historical fiction; the other a 400 words, edited version of an article about Writer’s Software that was published on the Website of the Long Ridge Writers Group. The news surely made my day!

I sent in a column proposal to the Jerusalem Post Christian edition. Thought they could use some history pieces about Israel and the Jewish people and sent in a few sample stories that I had re-written from the radio pieces. The editor turned the table on me and wrote back the same day that he was interested in a certain article, but could I flesh out some more info and give it a broader scope. The deadline for the article was within 2 days, and I had only one day to get it done. Still waiting if it will be published or not, but I decided not to do this kind of ‘stunt’s again. I’m can’t handle the stress that is involved.

JournEzine, who has published one of my biblical stories, sent their new Submission guidelines. On their page I noticed an advertisement calling for stories for an anthology called “Echoes of White”. Deadline: February 2009! Because I already had a general story ready, I sent in a short version to give them an idea. The same day I received a very enthusiastic reply: please, please, please! Send your story! Writing our life’s story and seeing how God’s mighty hand guided each step of the way, was already such an encouragement to me. But also the editor of the anthology was also touched, and wrote she recognized so much from her own life! She surely wanted to have the story included in the book!

A private message waited for me in the FaithWriters postbox. After reading my profile, the editor of an e-zine called “The More Excellent Way” wondered if I would be willing to be one of the contributors. I sent in an example of one of the articles I had written about the children, and wait and see what happens next.

Don’t know where this all is going to lead, but I have the feeling God is beginning to open the doors – unbelievable! The only problem is that my next book is on hold, as I first have to get the Dutch MS ready to be sent to a publisher. The English version of “First Fruits in Jerusalem” is waiting to be read at SunPenny Publishing. I still can’t believe it I wrote that!

In the meantime, I stumbled upon another wonderful network: “Christian Women Take Root”. Check it out for yourself – a wonderful opportunity to bless and encourage others, even when you’re often ‘stuck’ at home, like me. My problem now is that I have to ‘guard’ my hours even more, as these networks are wonderful, but can also keep you from using it for other, important tasks. Like getting that article ready, with a deadline breathing in your neck!