A Tale of Two Projects

Planting trees in memory of Na’il Burkan.

January 24, 2013

                          By Petra van der Zande

On February 4, 2009, the Lord called our beloved Na’il Home at the age of 14. To keep the memory of this special child alive, I wrote the book Just do It! - the story of his life and about the twelve years we had the privilege taking care of him.

For the Jewish people, planting a tree is a sign of hope, a sign of life. In memory of Na'il, American friends had two trees planted in Israel in 2009 through the Jewish National Fund.

People plant trees for many different reasons and help green the land of Israel while sending a special gift to a friend or loved one. Over the last 100 years, the JNF has planted over 240 million (!) trees. (This year on Tu b’Shvat, over 600,000 saplings were planted throughout Israel.) Wim and I decided to collect funds for a garden in honour of Na'il. A garden contained 100 trees, and people could fund one or more trees.

However, as time went by, we decided to give the money to ICEJ-Aid, the social assistance department of the International Christian Embassy Jerusalem. Our friend Yudit was asked to look for a suitable project in Israel. We wanted to bless an organisation with trees which at the same time would be a memorial to Na’il.

Through Offer, an Israeli friend, Yudit learned about two special projects in the most northern part of Israel - near Kiryat Shmona. One was a special education school for special needs children in the region. Staff and children came from Jewish, Muslim Arab, Christian Arab and Druze backgrounds. The other project was a rehabilitative day center where special needs adults came to work. My heart rejoiced! It was so fitting! It felt so right!

Located within the boundaries of the Mevo’ot Hermon Regional Council, the Shechafim Regional Special Education School has a student body of about 60 students with medium to high levels of cognitive impairment. Most of them have motor and sensory limitations, like Cerebral Palsy, physical handicaps and impaired vision. Six days a week, children between 6 and 21 years of age, attend school from 8 AM to 6 PM. (Fridays until 2 PM).

In Israel, when you donate something, you are expected to also bring a plaque (when you want to be remembered). We wanted everyone to know these trees were in honour of Na’il, so we had two beautiful plaques made.

On January 24, 2013, Wim and I left Jerusalem at 6.30 a.m. for the long journey to Kiryat Shmona. Yudit and Estera, who was to write an article for the Word From Jerusalem magazine about this event, drove their own car. Planning to stay a few days in Tiberias, our Dutch friends drove their rented car.

Tu B’Shvat - the birthday of the trees, was the next day, so the two events were very timely. The spring weather was beautiful - a sunny sky, and no rain expected. (A week later, the weather was cold and rainy, which would have made it impossible to plant trees, so we were doubly blessed!)

We enjoyed the trip but were also a bit tense, and wondered if we would make it in time for the first project. The ceremony was scheduled for 10 a.m.!

At Tsomet Koach (Koach Junction), Offer Michaeli, our Israeli contact, was already waiting for us. Our line of cars followed him to the school.

We longed for a cup of coffee after the long, three hour ride, but found there was no time for that. Ishai Adler, the principal of the Shechafim School was in a hurry.

We received a warm welcome in Hebrew, translated by Yudit into English, at the parking lot. After a short detour to the toilets, Ishai gave us a quick tour of the school.

The moment we entered the special education facility, I immediately felt at home. When our foster children were small, they attended similar schools in Jerusalem. However, the difference between this school and the ones in Jerusalem was enormous: this regional school was blessed with so much space, inside and outside!

Thanks to a contribution of the KKL/JNF, a beautifully landscaped schoolyard with a roofed playground was created. There is plenty of fun playground equipment, a greenhouse where children learn to feel, touch and even taste, a herb garden and a petting zoo.  

To protect the children’s privacy, we were not allowed to take pictures; therefore, there are no pictorial reminders of the ‘choir’ which sang in honour of the event.

After a short speech, Ishai handed us a certificate of honour, together with some presents the children had made. It was so precious! I (Petra) was then invited to say a few words in Hebrew. Offer read a moving text he had written for both occasions. I realized he was a ‘kindred’ spirit, a man with a deep love for these special children and a desire to help them wherever he could. 

A big area had been cleared of bushes and prepared to plant part of the 40 citrus trees we donated to the school. When they had cleared the rest of the area, the other trees would also be planted.

Helped by the staff, some of the children took part in this moving event.

Deeply inhaling the fresh air, I enjoyed the beautiful view: the school is surrounded by high mountains and lies near a river bed. A staff member of the school proudly showed me a short video on his I-phone. When it rains, a thundering stream runs down the mountain.

A forested area had been transformed into a park to enjoyed by the children and the staff. Wind chimes, winding paths suitable for wheelchairs and strollers, drinking fountains hewn from rock were equipped with special handles - it was beautiful. Strewn alongside the path were boulders and rocks, which were now being transformed by volunteer artist into animal shapes. There was an elephant, a whale, and more to come.

We were introduced to an artist couple (both teachers) who came here to work on these stones on a volunteer basis. Peter, our Dutch artist friend, was immediately drawn to the work they were doing. The artists happily exchanged business cards. I’m always amazed by these unexpected, surprising turns of events. This often happens in Israel!

It was time to say good-bye to Ishai and head for the next event. There still had been no time for coffee! In Israel, mainly cold drinks are served to guests, so we quickly drank some water before heading towards the cars.

While driving the short distance to Kiryat Shmona, Wim and I managed to gulp down some instant coffee.

The rehabilitative center comprised of a low building which was surrounded by a garden. The spacious courtyard was full of people, guests, children from a local high school who volunteered at the center, and the adults who worked there. Offer introduced us to the director of the program, Sigal Kabas, so I extended by hand.

  “I don’t want a hand,” Sigal exclaimed. “You are such special people! I want a hug!” We were welcomed like old friends.

While preparing for the project, Sigal wanted to have our background information, so Yudit suggested she take a look on our website. She had done her homework well, as we later were to find out.

  

Because of the uniqueness of the event, the mayor of Kiryat Shmona had been invited. Wim and I had the honour to meet and shake hands with Rabbi Nissim Malka. Sigal asked him how Judaism views people like us: non-Jews, Christians, taking care of four very special needs children. The mayor explained that we belong to the group of righteous people - tzadikim.

Seated in honoured places at a long table laden with cakes and plates with dried fruit (in honour of Tu b’Shvat), Wim and I were again blessed with handmade presents. Looking at the framed certificate, my eye fell on a picture of a brightly coloured umbrella. “Na’il would have loved that,” I told Sigal.

  “I know,” she said. “I read the story on the website.”

Also the quote at the end of this article, Sigal put on the certificate. It showed her love and care and painstaking research. We were touched!

 Offer’s Speech  (Free translation from Hebrew )

 Today, we plant fruit trees in memory of a little boy, Na’il  Burkan, who died prematurely. With us, his family, the couple  that fostered him: Wim and Petra van der Zande. We are happy  to welcome you here in the Shechafim School, which is a school  for children with developmental problems, and from the       different religions we have here in the North.

A child is like a sapling; a sapling is like a child - in every circumstance and occasion he makes people happy, and a benefactor to his world. Both child and sapling need cultivation, love and care - and then they grow. They deserve to be beneficial/profitable, bearing fruit, giving shade and be pretty. But also a child that does not reach the summit, or does not pass his final exams, and departs from our world, sometimes leaves his own little mark in this world.

Look, this little child continues to be remembered for many, many years.

The saplings we planted today will grow into big fruit trees - they will be beautiful and give shade. Everyone enjoying these trees, will remember for a second, or a minute, the little child: Na’il Burkan, who died before his time; and also the wonderful family who donated these trees to the children and people with special needs. And thus, the little child will leave his soul with us, in the Galilee, for ever.  Offer Michaeli   24-01-2013

30 trees were to be planted around this Rehabilitative Center. We were invited to plant a tree together with mayor rabbi Nissim Malka.

The students holding the shesek tree belong to a regional high school. About four hours a week they volunteer at the Center. This mandatory part of the school curriculum is a wonderful way to teach pupils community service.

While the rest of the trees were planted, (different varieties) we were invited to enjoy the cakes and goodies that were on the table. Wim and I also felt at home at this Center - which reminded me of Nadia’s work place at Elwyn in Jerusalem.

By now it was almost 1 p.m. Treated like V.I.P’s in Sigal’s office, we finally enjoyed a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Offer shared how he had come into contact with the I.C.E.J, over 20 years ago.

We thanked Sigal for the wonderful celebration, and the opportunity to help them with trees for the Center. It was such a blessing to finally meet Offer in person. I had heard so many good things about this special man, and thanks to his efforts, Na’il’s tree project had become a double blessing.

Only the next day, the experiences of the previous day begin to sink in. Looking at the pictures, we realized how special everything had been.

Dear Wim and Petra van der Zanda,

In this appreciation certificate, we wish to cherish your kind and  noble donation to the Rehabilitative Center in Kiryat Shmona.

A donation that plants strength and deep love in our hearts, which helps being happy, grow and  not get tired. Just as the roots of the trees will get stronger and deeper by the day, this is how we will plant the memory of your son, Na'il, deep in  our hearts. With deep gratitude and appreciation, The Rehabilitative Center in Kiryat Shmona.

Both projects were linked to Na’il’s life: it had been cut short while he was still at the Ilanot School in Jerusalem. He didn’t live long enough to work at a Rehabilitive center, but Nadia does. Our 25 year-old (ex) foster daughter works in a similar Center in Jerusalem. Both places were blessed with trees, to be enjoyed by generations to come.

Through our special needs children, we met many precious people - those working for the well-being of the weak in society. The children and people which are close to God’s heart.

Wim and I came to Israel to bless God’s people. In return, we were blessed; and continue to be abundantly blessed, as you can read in this TALE OF TWO PROJECTS.

Getting on with Life

It’s exactly a week ago now that we had to say goodbye to Na’il and yesterday was the last day of the so-called ‘shiva’, the seven days of mourning.
Here we were: a Christian couple, sitting a (Jewish) shiva, for a Muslim boy ~ that’s our family in a nutshell.
What a blessing this shiva was for us: the outpouring of love, comfort and encouragement from so many friends, neighbors and acquaintances was overwhelming, and it really helped us to process our grief. We experienced the wisdom of this Jewish ritual, which we also read about in the book of Job.

Kristi Holl, in “Writer’s First Aid” mentions how important writing is for our health. I feel privileged to be able to express my feelings through the written word, and decided to use the website as a platform to write about our special boy, and file the stories in a Blog called: celebrating a life.

Kristi writes at the end of the chapter called “Beauty for Ashes”,
“But something extraordinary happens to us when sharing our personal hurts also helps heal someone else’s pain.”
That is my prayer too.

Links: Blog Na’il: http://nailtheacquirer.blogspot.com
Website: http://christinaboerma.com/christinaboerma

Grieving a Loss, Celebrating a Life

Our 14 year old foster son Na’il had been suffering from the flu, and when I visited the paediatrician that Tuesday afternoon, February 3, 2009, at 3.30 p.m. she checked him and didn’t see anything suspicious, except for the usual flu symptoms of a high fever.
Around 9.30 p.m. I noticed his breathing became laboured, and his belly was huge and felt like a stone. Something was wrong.

During the drive to the hospital he sat up in his stroller and I think he realized we were going to his favourite place, but he was too busy trying to breathe. After dropping us off at the hospital Wim returned home, because we couldn’t leave Nadia alone.

At the First Aid of the Hadassah hospital in Ein Kerem we soon were directed to an intensive care corner were his health quickly deteriorated. I entered a living nightmare.
While trying to insert a tube into his stomach, Na’il stopped breathing. The anaesthesiologist intubated him and put him on a respirator, while several nurses and 2 doctors tried to stabilize him. Many sick children had to be admitted, and they had to ask for additional staff from the adult department to help out on the children’s First Aid department.

Nobody knew for sure what was causing this deterioration except that his belly was full of air. Normally, parents are not allowed to stay near when medical staff works on the child, but because they knew I was a nurse, I was able to stay with him and be ‘part of the team’.
In order to have a C.T. made, they first had to stabilize his blood pressure, which was almost impossible to measure. I saw the colour of his legs and in my heart knew we were fighting a lost battle.

The C.T. showed that all the major organs were surrounded by air, which also closed off the blood circulation to his kidneys and legs. Still, nobody knew what caused the air in his abdomen, for there were no signs of a perforation.

Na’il’s biological father, Chassan, arrived at the same time as the paediatric surgeon, who drove especially to the hospital in the middle of the night. One look at the little boy and the surgeon sadly shook his head. He told us Na’il was going to die, but there might be a chance of 1% that an operation could bring relief. However, he warned us Na’il might die during the operation.
Chassan wanted to take that 1% chance of a miracle, but I knew in my heart it was already too late for our Na’il.

Wednesday morning at 4 a.m. he went into Theatre, while Chassan and I anxiously waited in the empty waiting room near the Operating rooms for the world to wake up.
6 a.m. An exhausted surgeon told us that he had not been able to do anything to help Na’il. The necrosis of his small intestine, probably caused by a blood-clot, had caused the air in his belly. For an hour the surgeon had tried to close the wound, without success – the swollen mass could not be put back into the belly. Na’il had survived the operation, but we had to wait and see if he would be stable enough to be transferred to the ICCU of the children’s ward.
The hospital woke up, the morning shifts began to arrive, and we waited for news about our precious Na’il.

Wim arrived at 8 a.m. with the news that Na’il already had been transferred to the children’s ward. With the changing of the shifts they had forgotten us in the waiting room.
Paediatric surgery on the 4th floor of the children’s wing always had been Na’il’s most favourite place. He had been there during several operations, and now he was back, without realizing it.
Chassan, Wim and I were ushered into a room, where two doctors, a social worker, the head nurse and two other staff patiently permitted us to ask questions, listen to our stories, and prepared us for having to say good-bye to a dying boy.

Hooked up to even more wires, tubes and drains, Na’il’s face had already the colour of death. His blood pressure was almost gone, his pulse very low. Two of Chassan’s brothers cried at Na’il’s bedside, while I sat next to him, stroking his face, his short cropped hair, kissing his already cold forehead, his closed eyes, his beautiful formed ear that never heard, trying to imprint all his beloved features before it was no longer possible.

9.30 a.m. The doctor and a nurse approached the monitor near the bed and said: “Time of death: 9.30”, and turned off the ventilator. Due to that machine we even had not realised he had been gone from us.
Our beloved Na’il’s soul had gone to heaven, welcomed in the waiting arms of our Heavenly Father. Now he was free from his broken body, which he had left behind in the bed. We tried to picture him running and laughing and talking! And then looked at the white, still figure in the bed and cried. It was such a privilege for me to be able to help the nurse wash and clean our little boy, one last time. And then, after one last kiss, the body bag was closed, and I was never able to kiss and hug or look after our 17 kilo, precious little boy any more.
He had died in his most favourite ward!

Chassan had to make all the funeral arrangements, which was quite a hassle. In Israel, both Jews and Muslims bury their dead within 24 hours. Chassan had to get a special permit from the Ministry of Health to take the body to the Mosque on the Temple Mount. Women are not allowed during Muslim funerals, and because Chassan couldn’t say what time it would be, and Wim would never be able to find the place in the Old City of Jerusalem, we decided to let it be.

12.00 noon we arrived home exhausted, with a stroller, bags, and no child.
Fahima already knew and planned to come home as soon as possible, Nadia we had to tell when she arrived home from work. The social worker from the Fostering Agency arrived and gave us comfort and practical help, and e-mails from all over the world began to pour in, in response to Wim’s news and updates. Our neighbour doctor left his medical practice for an hour to comfort us in our grief.

Even though we’re not Jewish, we decided to have a 7 day mourning period, the so-called “Shiva”, which starts after the funeral.
At 4 p.m. Chassan called us that Na’il was buried in the family grave behind the Temple Mount, opposite the Mount of Olives. It’s in an area near the Golden Gate, where one day, Messiah will enter!

Today, Shabbat, is the 4th day of the Shiva. Many people already have come to visit us, to share our grief. We expect many more visitors in the days ahead. It’s such a blessing and comfort to know how much our little boy was loved by those who knew and worked with him. And what a blessing and example his life was for so many people!

For now, we are still struggling as we try to deal with the sudden and unexpected loss. The precious memories and the love of so many sustain us, also the knowledge he’s in the best place ~ heaven!

The picture at the top was taken exactly one week ago, last Shabbat. Na’il loved the print-out and had been tapping enthusiastically with his big toe on my face. (He couldn’t use his arms, due to his contractures). The glorious smile that lit up his face was such a joy to behold. I will treasure that memory forever!