Since Na’il’s death, three months ago, my life has changed in so many ways. Mourning takes time, that’s what I’ve experienced. I’m easily overwhelmed by seemingly small things, and thought that writing about the 12 years that Na’il lived with us, would be a matter of a few weeks. But there were days I just couldn’t handle the overwhelming emotions and had to leave the manuscript for what it was. There was no deadline, and nobody told me to hurry up and finish it. I was the tyrant who wanted to have this project finished, before continuing with the novel that had been on hold since February.
Reading through old newsletters in order to remember the highlights, was tiresome and exhilarating at the same time. Because I now saw the overall picture, I realized God’s grace and strength during the often difficult and challenging years, in which one crisis seemed to follow on the heels of another. But we didn’t have a choice, thus we grit our teeth, and went on.
The raw version of the book about Na’il’s life is posted chapter by chapter on the website, and I’m now proofreading and editing the printout.
When I’m satisfied with the end product, we’re going to print it ourselves and those interested can order it via mail. At the moment I don’t know how many pages the book will be. In order to keep the cost as low as possible, the book will be printed in black and white, but include two pages with coloured photos.
Slowly, hesitantly, I’m inching my way back to continue with my stalled novel.
